There is a word that has followed me somewhat quietly throughout my yoga journey, a certain gentle strength steady in the background ~ alchemy. 

Traditionally alchemy was the ancient practice of transforming base metals into gold. But the deeper meaning of alchemy has always been more about transformation. The process of turning life’s challenges, wounds, lessons and experiences into wisdom, perhaps even something beautiful. 

What I didn’t know is that yoga would become the catalyst for my own alchemical process, not because yoga is some kind of magic potion that once swallowed is automatically life changing, but because it’s philosophy, guidance, ancient teachings and lessons have by far resonated with a space within my heart that has always been there though got buried amongst the rubble and grind of what sometimes becomes our life. This reaching magic is not actually about the yoga shapes at all, they go far beyond that and far beyond the mat. Something that we can cultivate within ourselves through steady gentle inquiry and present awareness. Something that simply develops over time through self study and awareness. 

I have been deeply intwined in poetry since I could string words together to make a single poem and yet somewhere along the journey I began putting myself away. I think sometimes we can quietly do this as the world begins to pull us in all kinds of directions and not always our own. It is necessary to take ourselves by the hand and simply do something you love in full simplicity of just that. This can bring you in connection with yourself again and again and provide a space for somewhere you can just bask a little while with yourself. To remember your joy and to validate yourself as a whole through all it’s phases and shades.  

Yoga has become this for me, we all have our jam and cream. But what really gets beneath the surface, the depths of the sea and brings light to glisten in the shadows? Just like reading through your own chapters of every crevice and wrinkle of life.  Yoga can be what you want it to be, just like the dance between strength and softness, depth, joy, sorrow, the light and the dark and somewhat simple awareness to what is without even having to label it anything at all. My practice is not near as dynamic as it used to be though it is much deeper. 

Some of us are here to share our stories simply because being real is what remains refreshing, inviting and somewhat inspiring  for us to open up even if it is just a little in a world filled with endless facade. Even if it simply invites a space for curiosity or question a space without any mask. A reminder that perhaps you are already whole no matter what we live through and experience. We are simply here getting to know ourselves and learning, resting, blooming, growing and going through the cycles of nature and the different phases of life and ourselves together.   

When I first stepped on my yoga mat, I thought yoga was about flexibility, movement, shapes, disciplined physical and mental strength. And it was for a while. I did reach burnout. I reached a space where I needed something real, away from all the façade that still can present itself in different spaces and places we go. Perhaps an invitation within practice to just be real, whatever that may look like. To fall in love again with what is really real for you. 

 What I discovered here was something far more profound. Yoga became my mirror once I started to remove the façade, evolve, reflecting parts of myself and my journey I had avoided, suppressed, or simply forgotten. Every practice began inviting me to look inward and witness not only my strengths but also my fears, insecurities and patterns, my deeper values and purpose. That invitation came from myself.    

The mat became my laboratory so to speak and through meaningful intention and reflection I began to cultivate something beautiful for myself which than began to have ripple effects outward. It is also my sanctuary. A space that I can roll out time and time again, anywhere I am.  

Some days, the transformation felt gentle. A deeper breath, A moment of stillness. A new found sense of presence. Other days, it felt like standing in a fire. Old beliefs surfaced. Emotional blocks appeared. Tears flowed. Resistance showed itself in unexpected ways. Yet through consistant practice, continous letting go of expectation and the need to be anything other than what I was in the very moment, I learned that some discomfort is simply the beginning of growth. And every modification, a little mantra, affirmation, even a poem of love for myself. Sometimes even letters I needed to sit with for a while and slowly unfold. 

This is what I now know as personal alchemy. And this will be an ongoing process through the ebs and flows of the tides and chapters of my life. Though the invitation to sit with myself in present awareness and self enquiry is by far the most humbling to reveal clarity of mind and truth within my hearts true nature.  

Yoga has taught me that transformation is not about becoming someone else or anything greater than what I am right now. It is a quiet metamorphosis of returning to your true essence. It is a becoming of who you already are beneath the layers of conditioning, expectation, and self doubt. The process is not always graceful. It is rarely linear. It is not an external reaching. It is an inner journey, a sacred transformation of the self. My yoga practice became the vessel for that transformation. It also became a place I could curl up with myself for a little while and simply connect with myself again. 

Through concious and natural breathing, meditation, yoga practices that felt more nourishing and the study of it’s philosophy and ancient teachings, mindfulness and somatic movement, I began to transmute stress into awareness, fear into courage and self judgement into self compassion. But beneath every shape or practice was a gentle invitation to go deeper. Some days i deep dive and somedays i wade in the shallows, I welcome in all of it and it has become part of my daily practice, journey and teaching journey. The challenges that once felt too heavy became opportunities of learning. The experiences I once resisted became teachers. Yoga has a way of illuminating the parts of ourselves that are asking to be seen, felt, healed and integrated.  

Alchemy asks us to trust the process.  

Just as gold is refined through heat, we too are refined through life’s experiences. The difficult seasons, the moments of uncertainty, and the periods of change often can hold the greatest potential for transformation. Yoga has introduced me to many tools, ancient wisdoms and science based evidence, knowledge, learnings, some relearnings, some unlearnings. An endless learning journey. I needed to move through those moments with a greater resilience and grace and a different kind of support. With a greater understanding of the body, mind and nervous system as a whole. Myself as a whole, others as a whole. We simply are our own and that is something to truly embrace and honour through our practice.  

My personal alchemy continues everyday. 

It happens when I choose presence over distraction. When I respond rather than react. When I listen to my intuition instead of external noise. It happens every time I step onto my mat and reconnect with myself and the minute I choose to love myself.  Sometimes this is stepping forward and other times it’s stepping back. It will always be a dance between movement and stillness, the reminder that softness is strength.  

The beauty I find in yoga is that it consistently reminds me that transformation is not reserved for a select few. We are all alchemists in our own lives. Every breath is an opportunity to begin again. Every challenge carries the potential for growth and also the potential to find compassion. Every moment offers a choice between remaining the same and evolving into a deeper expression of ourselves. An invitation to remember yourself. Your worth. Yourself beneath the fear. Yourself beneath the stories. Yourself that has always been whole and always will be and the simplicity of just being.  

My journey is showing me that the real gold is never something to be found outside. 

The real gold has always been within, waiting to be uncovered through gentle awareness, practice and the courage to transform. Waiting to simply be seen.  

The transformation of anxiety into trust. 

The transformation of judgement into compassion. 

The transformation of striving into presence. 

The transformation of wounds into wisdom. 

The transformation of knowing that we don’t actually need to transform into anything at all, because we are already just that. The cycles are inevitable, as is the transformation to knowing less and just being who we already are.  

That is my alchemy. 

There is no final destination. No perfect version of myself waiting at the end. The journey simply continues. There is only unfolding, layer by layer, breath by breath, moment by moment. And sometimes I may be in full bloom and other times a tiny little bud. 

Yoga continues to remind me that not all that glitters is gold and that real gold is hidden beneath the rubble of everything we once thought we knew we needed to be and rather in the most ordinary simplest of moments and places when we actually just let go. Moments realized are moments felt.  

“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves” Nisargadatta Maharaj says this beautifully.  

We are all alchemists in our own light. There is no need to prove this light. It is already light. Already gold. And we are already that. 

“To Realize one’s destiny is a persons only obligation” From The Alchemist ~ Paulo Coelho 

Perhaps one of our greatest responsibilities is to discover what truly matters to us and to have the courage to pursue it.